Ground rules posted for Rick Perrys "The Response"

Texas Governor Rick Perry has issued an invitation to all Christians to join him on Aug 6 from 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM at Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas. Perry will lead those in attendance in a day of fasting and prayer.

Due to the large crowds expected at the event called "The Response" the following ground rules have been posted and will be followed:

1. Parking will be available at $15 per car. Cash only.
2. To gaze into the heavens, the roof will be open. Please bring sunscreen.
3. Concession stands will not be open. (Remember we are fasting)
4. Be ready to show proof of citizenship at the door. 
5. No Jews, Muslims, or any other non-Christians will be allowed.
6. No alcohol will be served, unless you are a Catholic.
7. No dancing will be allowed during the solemn event.
8. No snakes, chickens, doves, or any live animals, will be allowed. This is a Christian event, not a goddamn freak show.
9. No rosaries, crosses, or any other strange Christian paraphernalia.
10. No dress up costumes like Jesus, the Pope, Nuns, or anything like that. This is a fundraiser, not Halloween.
11. No tailgating will be allowed. Remember people, we are praying and fasting. This isn't a  football game.
12. No communion or any type of Jesus wafers or wine will be offered.
13. Donations will be gladly accepted paid to "The Committee to elect Rick A. Perry" (CRAP)
14. Have fun, pray, and starve for a good cause.

Hope to see you there!